Give a Compliment in Public

The secrets of making the most out of the most important relationships in your life – at work, home and in our social lives are not far-fetched. In fact they are no secrets at all. If you want to unlock these secrets, a good place to start will be writing down all the things that make you feel good and lifted. I am quite sure that your long list will no doubt include – “being paid a real compliment in front of others”. Everyone loves to feel good, accepted and important from time to time, and when someone passes a real compliment about us in public, it makes us feel better, lifts our spirits and brings out the best in us.

So, why look any further in your search to bring out the best in your spouse, children, colleagues, subordinates, friends or bosses – find a real and positive thing about them, and take the next opportunity you have them to make a complimentary remark about them in public.

On a personal level, I have seen a number of leaders use this very well to make their people feel important and treasured, but I have also observed many leaders who never pay public compliments, sometimes for their own insecurities or just because they have not discovered how powerful and lifting such compliments can be. A few people I have met believe that complimenting people in private should suffice, and that there is an undertone of “trumpet blowing” and “hype” associated with public compliments. Granted that it does create a bit of hype and blows the person’s trumpet, we must realize that it is a lot better than those who blow their trumpets themselves and are continuous paying compliments to themselves in public.

Public compliments should also not be mistaken with sycophancy, which is another social ill. The line between being complimentary and sycophancy becomes clearer when the public praise is repeated, out of context or even completely untrue. Like all things even our use of public praise should be done with moderation, if not the sycophancy behind it will become obvious to all who are watching.

Our human nature sometimes pre-disposes us to sometimes only see the bad side of people, and it takes a really concerted effort to find value in our relationships especially as we battle and struggle through life. No matter how small or insignificant, even the most difficult of subordinates or bosses have some positive value that we can identify and compliment in public. The benefits are clear - just cast your minds back to a time when someone really important in your life made a public declaration of your competence. It has happened to me, and believe me, it made me feel really good!

If you sense that your relationships – at home, work and socially have been a bit strained, switch gears today, and pay a real public compliment to someone that matters, because – People Matter!