Tuesday, September 14, 2010

The 30 Second Rule

Have you ever wondered what it will feel like to be regarded as a master conversationist and what a tremendous difference it will make in your work or life? Imagine the most successful business and political leaders, sales and marketing professionals, pastors or imams who have mastered the art of great conversations. First impressions they say – last the longest, and create the most impact. Master conversationists like John C Maxwell have further realized that the first 30 seconds can make or mar a conversation and an entire relationship.

When sales people engage a prospect or a client, or when business or political leaders meet and speak to their people, or when service personnel interact with a client, the first 30 seconds makes a great difference. So, how do we typically open a sales call, or a performance feedback session, or a letter or email to a client? Often times we focus on ourselves, hoping to hit the nail on the head and score the much required quick win in the first few seconds of our verbal and written communications. Great conversationists instead of bragging about themselves, their achievements, products or services, spend the first 30 seconds making the other person feel good about themselves.

The golden rule teaches us to treat others as we will like to be treated, so tell me who wouldn’t like to hear something encouraging, thoughtful or even mildly flattering at the beginning of a conversation. When we open our letters, wouldn’t it be great to get a note of thanks from the writer about our previous meeting or letter; when we sit in an appraisal, wouldn’t we like to have our manager open with some encouraging remarks about our work and achievements to date. Well if the answer is yes, then this is exactly the discipline we must learn about opening our own conversations with others.
People feel good when you give them your attention at the beginning of a conversation, and when you are actually focused on them, and not yourself. The 30 second Rule according to Dr Maxwell requires us to spend the first 30 seconds of every conversation giving your attention, providing affirmation, and showing your appreciation to the next person. Each time we do this, you can just feel the person’s energy level and motivation hitting the roof. People who have mastered this art, are always liked and likeable, because everyone loves people who raise their spirits, energy levels and levels of motivation.

People matter, and to win with people requires some deliberate effort in making the best impression right at the beginning. Many people misconstrue putting your best foot forward, as being aggressive about your accomplishments or positive qualities – nothing could be much farther from the truth. Be deliberate; spend time thinking about that other-person-centric opening that you will give to your next conversation. I tried one today, and it really worked – “Hi, I really love the decor in your office, very impressive”, as I made my way into a prospect’s office. The key is to be realistic, spontaneous, yet authentic. Be careful not to come across as rude or over-flattering, but most importantly just do it, and WIN with People!

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